Post divorce dating mistakes

What I am suggesting is that we have two ages: All of my life, I was characterized as an old soul. I often struggled to communicate with my peers but excelled with adults. My outlook on all things was much closer to that of my parents who were older than my peers. I have met others who share this state of mind, and then I have also met those who are ten to fifteen years older than I am that share the same maturity as my freshmen in college.

What this means while dating is he shares this mindset with someone older. I value people who value the same things I do, regardless of age. My dad was a lucky guy: He had good genetics that were at play and he worked a job that required him to stay in good physical condition.

Thankfully, I was not privy to this information as a teen! At first, I thought that maybe the extra ten pounds that have taken residency around my body, was the issue, and I was not as attractive as I once was.


I learned rather quickly that many men over 45 have difficulty performing well as they once did. Overall, this added stress in the bedroom meant I started thinking about long-term health issues like stroke and heart disease and snoring! C-pap machines are not sexy!

And older men are not for me! I often found that friends wanted to fix me up. But that is not the norm.

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Nevertheless, I went on these dates. The first was a widower and I was his first date since his wife had died. Finally, we talked about the loss and decided he was not ready to date.

Avoid These 8 Mistakes When Dating After Divorce

The second date was a handsome man who was successful and kind; the only problem; his voice. An unbiased professional -- someone who sees issues objectively -- is a better choice. A coach will tell you the truth about your readiness to date. A well-meaning friend may not be so honest. My advice is, before you join the dating boomers, seek out professional help from a trained counselor or coach like myself.

In this case, you need a coach more than you need to eat another chocolate bar with a girlfriend! Being afraid to go solo: Solo is the way to go when you are looking to meet someone to date. Although we love being with our girlfriends, constantly traveling with a group of gal pals is a recipe for disaster. I know it takes time to feel comfortable traveling alone, so you need to practice. I suggest taking a class, going to a show, concert, movie or opera alone. Take yourself out for dinner and sit near the bar area.

If you're feeling confident, have dinner at the bar. If you spot someone of interest, catch his eye for a few seconds and smile. Perhaps he will come over and introduce himself.

6 Pitfalls Of Dating After Divorce: Don't Make The Same Mistakes I Made! · Divorced Moms

If he doesn't, count it as practice. A woman alone is approachable, confident and mysterious. The more you practice going out alone, the easier it is. I tell clients, if you want to meet an interesting man, be an interesting woman. Remember, men are attracted to women who are independent and fun -- women who have interesting lives of their own. Being someone other than your "genuine self" on a first date: Talking about work may feel safe, but it's not a good first date conversation.

If you had a bad day, stay home unless you can bring a positive, approachable attitude along. Before going out, I put on some upbeat or romantic music, dance by myself in my home and think happy thoughts.

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I leave my past in the past. If you don't have time to go home prior, dress for work in something "dateable" like a wrap dress, a pencil skirt, or a fabulous sweater or satin blouse that makes you feel pretty. Being less excitable will allow you to build a bond based on deeper attraction and compatibility.

So, give it a chance. See how it develops. Enjoy the friendship and dating the person for a while before you throw in the towel.

8 Mistakes You’re Making When It Come To Dating After Divorce

You did your best to find the right partner for your marriage when you were young. You two seemed like the perfect pair and everyone wondered why you divorced. Usually, when we are getting married the first time when we are young, we rely on specific criteria. We want to find a compatible partner, and we look into his education, job, looks, cultural background, etc.

At this point of your life, what matters is that you can have good supportive friendship and that you can enjoy a lot of time spending together.

Here are 6 pitfalls that you must avoid when dating after divorce.

This discussion goes back to healing process where you determine what works for you at this time of life. Even if your new partner is not on the same academic level as you are, you two may be able to have the most interesting stimulating conversations and a great emotional connection.

Avoid these dating mistakes if you want to have successful dating life after divorce. Start with healing, and when you are emotionally ready to date, enjoy the process of dating without too serious agenda. Go get to know people and have fun! I have been practicing in this field for over 9 years. I was born and raised overseas.

I have traveled around the world and met many people from different cultures. I came to the United States, learned the language and completed my Read More Find me on Twitter. Leave a Reply Cancel reply.